Usne Kaha Tha - III

I can't afford hating them... I have no time left for it!...was Watanabe-san's last words before he disappeared behind the horizon of the bridge. Nishida stayed frozen at this swift remark of Watanabe and couldn't help staring at the silhouette dissolving gradually in the starry night. "what under the sun has given him such a great strength and enthusiasm at this very age?"....it was inaccessible to Nishida's reach...the bridge appeared as if a line separating the two worlds....the mute empires.....and why should he?...how was this poor guy to know the secrets hidden deep in the fortress?....I can't afford hating them....I have no time left for it.....murmured Nishida, while continuing his way down the bridge. - A scene from Akira Kurosawa's "Ikiru". ......(I am damn sure, the movie "Anand" is inspired from the plot of this movie....a worth watching one!)

There are times when you want to be more emotional than logical, more biased than rational. You want to do what your heart says than what your mind forces you. Recently, death of someone, one of the most beloved, reminded me of the above slogan. He was the Watanabe from Ikiru, who always preferred to smile when life always turned away from him. He was the person who taught me, that greatness has nothing to do with money, wealth, success but simplicity. He was the one who taught me to decorate one's life with the tiny moments of pleasure, satisfaction. He never could gather any materialistic asset. Even at his death, his debts were high up than his credits. Even then, he kept smiling at life, inviting every little drop of it...enlightening every soul around him....and....life kept snatching everything from him...his job, his health, his strength and finally his breath...If god exists somewhere, would feel ashamed of myself being an entity aware of it.......

Sitting in my room, alone...I wanted to cry...wanted to fill the space around me with the frustration in me.....and, I couldn't do even that...not even a single drop of tear rolled.....I wanted to speak to someone, but found none....shame on you life.....but, I can't hate you.....everybody always compared myself with him....I am like him...all my habits resemble him....

If that is so....then I can't afford hating them....I have no time left for that!